now the problem with trying to keep a blog up to date whilst training to be an LLM is that there's barely enough hours in the day to do the training, hence look what got abandoned!!
so how about a quick catch up?
I last posted in October 2009 when I had just completed the "Preaching" and "Being an LLM" portfolios. Since then I have completed the following courses and associated portfolios:
- worship
- theological reflection
- spirituality
- living the christian life, and ...
- doctrine
As you might be gathering, life has been extremely busy, but it has also been testing. There have been so many aspects of my life, faith and understanding of christianity and the church that have been challenged. At times I felt as if I was being taken to breaking point, but always I have found a way through and gained spiritual and emotional strength through the process.
The portfolio that was the most challenging was doctrine. The academic side was hard, at a higher level than the others, and required an immense amount of reading and absorbing. on top of that the issues are obviously tricky, they are talking about the foundations of faith and how these were developed and how they are now upheld. I selected "how do we know God exists" as my first essay and thoroughly enjoyed the challenge, in fact if there's any call for it I will post it. But the 2nd essay was on "what it means to be saved" and this was painful and time consuming. It brought up a lot of issues associated with miscarriages, loved ones who are not christians and more. the essay did not come off anywhere near as well as others but I was able to understand that this was due to the emotionality around the subject; perhaps that was the learning that mattered the most!
I now have supervision with my vicar every 6 weeks and that has changed my training entirely. I have a place to bring my fears, anxieties, excitements, challenges, hopes and worries.
Amongst all this I now have no idea where my ministry is taking me, but there is no fear about this. When I was selected it was as if I could see an island far off in the distance, but it was there and I knew what was on it. Now I know I'm closer to that island but a sea mist has come down and I no longer see the detail or even the form of my ministry. I am assured that this is just fine, and I hand over the unknown because what I do know is that God has me and my ministry safe.
So this term I am studying church history and the bible. and next term will complete the academic side of the training with mission and evangelism, and ethics. following that, from January 2011 I have two terms during which I can explore my ministry and what it means, encountering and exploring my formation.
thanks for walking alongside me, I will try to be more on-line. I will try!
I would like to promise that I will never abandon my blog again, but let's not make promises I can't keep! I will try though :)
