Thursday, 14 May 2009

Without prayer I'm bumbling in the dark

Thanks to an article on prayer and meditation by Mata H (author of Times Fool) on BlogHer, I got inspiration together to post on the importance of prayer in my life and realised I should share it here. so here it comes, with thanks for its inspiration to Mata and with thanks to many many others for their help in developing my prayer and meditation practices and life.

Without prayer I'm bumbling in the dark.
Literally!! I'm trying to run the shop myself and that quickly leads to bad decisions, muddled thinking, quick judgements, confusion and spiralling into my dark places.

I have had my christian faith for all my adult life but it's only in the last 2 years that I have finally handed my will and my life over to God. It sounds simple, it's no longer my decisions on my judgements; now it's God's will for me acted out by me. Of course hearing that will for me is the tricky part and that's where prayer and meditation comes in.

Every morning I spend at least 15 minutes (if I can I get 30minutes) in quiet reflective meditation and prayer. the location changes depending on the awakeness of the rest of the family and the pattern of the day ahead but what really matters never changes, I hand my day over to God. I start by thanking Him again for the blessings of yesterday and the good nights sleep. I then hand myself over with the serenity prayer
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen"

After this I try to empty my mind of worries, concerns, resentments, fears and anticipations and let myself be open to hear what I need to hear. This period is often noisy as my mind has trouble letting go of fear especially but sometimes that blessed silence comes down and a deep feeling of being open is achieved. Once I have really reflected on the importance of me not being in the driving seat I start to think about the day ahead; the activities, the challenges and the excitements to come. I hand myself over with
"God, I hand myself over to you, to do as you will and to relieve me of self. May I always do your will."

I remember that yesterday is past and unchangeable and that tomorrow is still to come and uncontrollable; all that I have to worry about is what has to be done today and it's purpose.

And so I start my day, I am focussed, I am listening and I head out into the world. Several times a day I try and stop and listen again and I end the day in a similar vane, handing over my day with thanks, handing over my resentments and fears so they no longer haunt me and asking for the night to fill my spiritual vessel with energy for tomorrow.

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