Blogging my Calling as a Minister with Motherhood, Blind Wheelchair Driving, Mental Health and More
Monday 14 February 2011
Valentines: love or hate?
I had no idea what Valentines would cause such pain for a gorgeous 5 year old Rachel; after all she had a valentines card from me and even a perfect handmade one from her boyfriend Adam. But I was being far too innocent; I didn't realise that school would be a valentines fest today and that she would feel dejected by not receiving a card from anyone at school. This is year 1, she's 5, what has the world come to? I suddenly hate valentines day!!
It's funny really because for the last 20 years or so I'd forgotten the utter pain and humiliation and dejection that was valentines day. Of course this didn't start at age 5, no, not in our day; it started at secondary school. I remember that awful knowledge that everyone would be talking about how many cards they received and I would have to lie or be humiliated. Well I've always been an awful liar so humiliated I was, year after year after year until I was 16 when things started to change.
20 years on, during which time I have had many lovely valentines days (including for the last 15 years the meeting anniversary with my fabulous hubby) I had forgotten the pain but now it's right back in my face. I am not a happy bunny!!
Just look at my gorgeous girl, look at her; and she's even more adorable when you get to know her and hear all her fabulous chatter about life, the universe and everything. How could she be anything but a magnet for valentines cards?
Well I am learning something; unless you are brash and loud then you are nothing in the school environment. She is neither; she is quiet, preferring small groups and proper conversations, than popularity contests. I am proud of her, she is full of love and has amazing confidence I never had and I am DETERMINED that today will not knock this.
And so I am thankful upon thankful upon thankful for a fabulous new school and church friend who made her some heart shaped biscuits which helped her recover from her tears as we left school. Thankyou, you know who you are; today you brought smiles and love back to my heartbroken girl and reminded me that Valentines day is about love and we are surrounded by it.
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My son has just turned 14 and is at Secondary School. As far as I'm aware he's never had a Valentine Card (not even from me - it never seemed appropriate somehow - for me Valentines is about real couply love). Today he, and at least one classmate (who happens to be a girl, who is a fellow musician and therefore a friend) celebrated 'Aren't we glad we're single' Day. I'm chuffed to bits they found a way of bluffing out the pressure that might otherwise have caused upset or heartache.
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