Mummy

This poem was written for the letter M as part of my A to Z of babyloss.

I am a mummy
A child calls me by that name
But being a mummy
Started long before that time

I became a mummy
As soon as I first knew
That there was a baby
Growing within me

When the midwives at each visit
Asked if I was a mum
I used to hesitate
Not knowing how to respond

Sometimes I'd say yes
Explaining what that meant
Usually I'd say no
Then I would lament

Because I knew what they were asking
But it was too cruel to see
Too cruel to think about
Too much to be me.