2013

Two thousand and thirteen
What a crazy year it's been
Full of ups as well as downs
Lots of smiles and a few frowns
In this verse I do recall
The year that's gone once and for all

January
Cold and bright
Change of meds
Brought me fright
Didn't know
What would be
Had no choice
But wait and see
Every day
Took in turn
Would I fold
Or could I learn?

February challenged me
With overwhelming anxiety
Depression lifted, that was great
But fear it had me in a state
Specialists said I had to cope
Only prayer gave me hope

March brought sun
And determination
I made a plan
But needed patience
It came along with
Special assistance
To help my journey
And remove resistance

April saw a breakthrough come
A break away made me feel young
Full of hope of what could be
We tackled it as a family

May saw me
On my feet
Walking again
Along the street
Fear was there
Not yet gone
Hope gave strength
To keep moving on

June saw smiles
And celebrations
I might survive
With medications
It wouldn't be
An easy ride
But I wasn't alone
With friends beside
Again I knew
What had been hidden
Life's a horse
It needs to be ridden

July was hot, a true heat wave
How we enjoyed those longer days
Especially since, at last I felt
Much more like my real self
Every day I woke up well
Felt like emerging from my shell

Into August
This all continued
Though sometimes
I had a high mood
So much better
Than falling flat
Nothing could be
Worse than that
Made the best
Of the energy
Went to Europe
Friends to see

Back to specialist in September
Asked about mood, as I remember
Suggested that we "tone it down"
This received a simple frown
Instead agreed to watch and learn
Mindful of any low return

October was a tricky one
Very pleased when it was done
Had to get a grip on workload
Better than burnout after overload
Balance is as balance does
Keep my mind from gaining fuzz
Getting rest a useful tool
My new number seven rule

November saw anxiety raised
As the diary became quite crazed
Had to sort it out quite quick
Managed it, almost slick
Only thing that slipped the net
Was getting cats to the vet

December, well it's always manic
But this year there wasn't panic
Everything was fully enjoyed
Sang the carols over joyed
Of course exhaustion did result
But I bounced without a catapult
Think I'm learning, slowly yes
At least I can reflect, with jest

This is the year
That now is done
Would I repeat
This specific one?
Yes, and no
I'm not quite sure
I'd never close
A single door
But for all I've learned
And that is much
I'd prefer to avoid
The pain I've touched
Would I change it?
In many ways
Especially the
Harder days
But then again
They give me truth
God will take that
It'll have a use

And as for what I'll take with me
That is knowing what me I'll be
How I tick
What I need
When to rest
When to lead
Where I'm needed
Where I'm not
What I've got
(I've got a lot)
What is sane
Does it matter?
By God's grace
We're all in tatters

This is the year
That has now gone
That is the year
I'll build upon
This is the year
Of heaven and hell
This is the year
I nearly fell
This is the year
I learned to crawl
This is the year
I stood up tall
This is the year
Held by a net
This is the year
I'll never forget

If YOU read this and understand
Take my thanks and let it land
Without your help in many ways
I'd have reached the end of days
Thank you for your company
Thanks most for letting me be me!