This series will discuss the changes in my emotional and spiritual support over the last few months. Today we start with my experience over Holy Week. Healing at the foot of the cross.
Holy Weeks over the last few years have been traumatic for me, they've been an overload of emotions leaving me feeling drained. Easter Sunday has always been a relief, but not a healing of the under belly of emotion.
Over this last year I've been focussing on trying to accept that God forgives me for my mistakes and wrongdoings. "Jesus died for our sins; my sins; I'm forgiven" has been my mantra.
I have been holding onto guilt, both true and false for many things in my life. It had become debilitating and had been getting in the way of my development in ministry. I just couldn't hand it over though; couldn't forgive myself for my failings and couldn't accept an amount of the guilt was unfounded.
This Holy Week it has all been lifted from me. I prayed for emotional healing every day through Lent. I additionally meditated through Holy Week on "God loves and accepts and chooses me as I am". Then on Good Friday at the vigil, I felt a lightening, a lifting, a true forgiveness. As I mourned the death if Jesus I knew for the first time that he died to save sins, including my own. What a miracle. What a change. What a healing.
Thank you Lord.
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