Sunday, 29 July 2018

Isolation and loneliness

These are just some of my thoughts which I shared on a fb group for visually impaired people. 



I think we’re in an epidemic of loneliness which increases as we move further away from a tribal culture.  We are social beings, we evolved to live in multi generational groups getting and giving support to each other. 

But for the last two generations or so we have, in the western world, become obsessed with independence and the importance of ‘standing on our own two feet’ and ‘being the best we can be’ and ‘success’ etc.  this is basically nonsense.  No one can be independent, if you use the water or electric system then you’re reliant on others.  Yet as we are told more and more that we need to be independent, we become more and more disconnected and therefore lonely.  We are less accepting of differences, we are more fearful of the unknown, we are less trusting of colleagues... because we believe we’re in a competition.  But we’re not in competition, we should be celebrating our role in our family and community.

Add disability into this mix and it becomes clear how loneliness can be an even greater issue.  We may feel we have less success in life, because we’re measuring ourselves too harshly against criteria which no one can measure up to.  We may feel excluded, because we assume we must be self reliant and that can be hard with disabilities.   We might feel needy and yet undeserving because we don’t value the gifts of each individual.  We might also be economically disadvantaged through unemployment which adds to loneliness and stress and feelings of failure.

So... The solution?
Find our tribe!
There’s a reason that social media has exploded in popularity.  It allows us to feel more connected.  For some people, and many commentators, this is seen as fake and dangerous; but for many of us with disabilities it allows for community connection which is extremely difficult (if not impossible) in real life.  Just look at this group - would we have ever been able to meet?  Could we have had this conversation?  Social media has benefits for so many of us who would otherwise be isolated.

But physical connections are also important and have been shown to reduce stress and increase wellbeing.  So we need to find our tribe locally - perhaps at a church or community group, or with neighbours or work friends or hobby group.  This is where changes to society are important to improve accessibility for all so that anyone with disability can join in and this becomes normal for everyone.

It's worth saying that I think many traditional blind charities are especially bad at improving the wellbeing of those of us experiencing sight loss, many being stuck in the model of needing to 'care for' us rather than empower us.

But things are changing as those of us with disabilities are feeling more empowered, thanks to meeting online.

Sunday, 25 February 2018

All Saints; the online parish church #cofelabs

Yesterday was the inaugural Church of England digital labs day #cofelabs.  I can't quite believe I made it all the way through to the end. God was definitely with me. More than that, God brought together a small but passionate team who caught my vision for an online church for people who can't get to church.

Did you know that, at current estimate, 29% of the UK population are affected by disability, chronic ill health, immune suppression treatment or are caring for someone they love and therefore can't get to church.  That's a huge number of people who we could bring church to online.

In a 5 hour "sprint" process we took the idea through development, testing and honing ready to pitch to the dragons den style judging panel.  We created a video for our pitch, allowing no one to be physically present, but all to be engaged - a representation of what online church can be.

Through the testing phase we had heard concerns about how the sacraments could be offered and about safeguarding, two important issues which we know we need to get to grips with but were a level of detail too far for the day. 

We also heard concerns that this would segregate the able bodied from those with disabilities; on this we are clear - this is not a get out of jail free card for physical churches!! All churches need to be accessible for people with disabilities; and this means more than just a ramp and a hearing loop.

We also heard "why do we need another online church" - and yes there are dozens of online churches, in many forms and which we have a huge amount to learn from, but this vision is for a fully accessible video and text based online church which uses British sign language and clear English and goes above and beyond to be for those who can't get to physical church, or prefer not to. 

Thanks to Kyle, our team member from life church, we developed a model, using their "church online" software.  This free to use platform facilitates real time, shared leading and participation in services online (rather than just watching services online).

We developed a model for a fresh expression of church online; a new parish for the CofE with a BMO (bishop's mission order) in place.  A new parish church where people would be in community online, where they would attend services and, when ready, share the Bible reading from their homes (live or recorded), and lead the prayers or deliver a sermon in the same. A model with church wardens, who would administrate the discussions and prayer teams who would support prayer threads etc. A model with cell groups and discipleship courses and prayer meetings; an online church which does everything great churches do but online. Pete and James did an amazing job creating an initial view of how it would work technically and look as a user, they blew my mind.

We knew at this point that our idea was too big for the #cofelab; that it needed major funding. Rev Graham estimated £2m over 3 years for development, streaming and staff team.  But we were asked to bring crazy, disruptive ideas to the #cofelabs so we kept developing the idea, with the view to get excitement in the room, traction for the idea and eventually backing and funding from the The Church of England renewal and return team.

By tweeting through the day we have had interest from Disability & Jesus and we look forward to that; and lots of buzz about what potential this has for the hidden population in your town and on your street.  There are also lots of concerned voices, but as a pioneer I'm used to that and I trust that if this is something God wants to see happen then it will

On a personal note I loved the day. It took every ounce of energy I had and I've barely slept due to the pain kick back.   It inspired me and filled me with hope for the future of the church and gave me a renewed passion for this idea I've been brewing - perhaps this is my next pioneering project after all and not just a crazy idea.  I look forward to talking more with the amazing development team, without whom this would still be an idea rather than a proposal.  If you've read this and would like to get involved then please let me know, this needs to be a team project and many hands make light work.

To end I want to show those of you who can see photos, the amazing team who took "All Saints; the online parish church" to the pitch; Kyle, James, Graham, Pete and me.


Sadly didn't have Clare with us at this point due to get becoming unwell, but she was emailing us her ideas and contents from home all afternoon, proving that online collaboration works.

And finally, here isithe logo Pete designed for us.


Thursday, 21 December 2017

Would Jesus use social media? Oh yes he would!

Today the Diocese of Oxford shared a post about a question +Stephen had been asked....

Would Jesus use social media?



The image below is a summary of his response.




Basically....

Jesus was found where crowds were. He never wrote any of his teaching but asked his disciples to share it. Not sure Jesus would have used social media but the church has always responded to new technology. Jesus would have a lot to say about it; he calls us to be contemplative, compassionate and courageous. That means... being present... These things aren't achievable or visible online. Being with one another matters.

Well I couldn't go to bed and let this go without sharing my own thoughts. Below are the words I posted in response and I thought should be on my blog.

"I am sure Jesus would have used social media. He drew people together across vast distances, he brought them to places they could hear him and he did different things than the religious leaders of the day. I'm sure he'd have held a Twitter party, instagrammed photos of the crowds and #sermononfb would have trended.

I'm disappointed by the response by +Stephen about how we need to be WITH one another rather than online. As a disabled person I can't leave home much, not at all on my own; and online is my lifeline and my community.

Online is one of the few places where I can CONTEMPLATE the teachings of Jesus - because I can be in a place of comfort at home and almost pain free, because I can access his teachings and reflections using my screen reader software and because online I can study with other people who are also trying to contemplate.  I can't do this in church any more.

Online I receive and give COMPASSION through church groups, friendship groups and wherever I find myself.  I get dozens of messages each day asking for my prayers and advice or just a listening ear. And I have many places I do likewise. Most of these people are not members of churches or can no longer get to churches, online is their lifeline.

And as for COURAGEOUS. There is little more courageous than sharing your faith or challenging a mistake about Christianity on Twitter - believe me, it's a minefield and one many of us tread with bravery, often receiving damage as we do.

These are things that aren't always visible but are very much achievable online and the church needs to start realising it."

What do you think?

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Waiting #thosewhowait #poetry


Waiting. Waiting
Waiting on waiting
Life's next adventure
Could just be passing

Rather than waiting
I should be squeezing
Every opportunity coz
Life's to be living

But life's not like that
Not mine anyway
I'll hit a stop sign
Sometimes literally

Road diverted
Route disrupted
Traffic light red
Danger ahead

Again I'm waiting
Waiting on waiting
For answers to questions
For new life solutions

Sometimes the waiting
Involves a slowing
(Might look like waiting)
If you're not concentrating

But in this waiting
There's action brewing
Internally learning
Adjusting my living

In the waiting
I'm learning
I'm growing
I'm living

XXX

Wait patiently
Is it a virtue?
Feels more like torture
When waiting for you

XXX

Waiting for birthdays
For Christmas or parties
Waiting for letters
Emails, text messages
Waiting for invites
And event invitations
Waiting on appointments
The good and the bad ones
Waiting on results
Nerves ever jangling
Waiting on life
Except for the ending

XXX

I wrote these poems inspired by Tanya Marlow's launch of her book "Those Who Wait: Finding God in Disappointment, Doubt and Delay". See more on her blog tanyamarlow.com






Friday, 14 April 2017

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Lent 2017 Day 42 #rethinkchurch #above


From above we get perspective
Nothing seems so bad
Yet God cares about the small things
And whatever makes us sad