Ups and Downs of Lockdown

I have been trying to write a post about lockdown now that shielding is officially paused.  

That's paused - not ended - the Government is being clear that we will likely be called back into Lockdown for our own safety.

I have been drafting this for weeks but not actually getting anywhere with it because it's too big a topic which has gone on for too long with far too many ups and downs.  So instead I've turned to a visual representation of the ups and downs of lockdown - strange for a blind girl you might think, but it's really just a mathematical model with artistic labelling.

The images are some of the pieces of art I've created to process the endless emotions I've experienced in Lockdown.  

So what might this tell you about my shielding lockdown?

1. It's been a rollercoaster.  Ups and downs have been weekly, daily and sometimes hourly.  The lows got very low and I reached out for help from my GP which has indeed helped.  The highs have been thanks to amazing friends, faith and family. 

2. Creativity has been essential.

Whether that's the creativity of getting church online. Creativity of meals with the contents of a Boris Box.

Creativity of games nights with friends.

Creativity of existing as a family in one house for over 120 days.

On top of that I've been creative every day; drawing or painting, needlefelting or sewing and of course lots of writing and endless poetry creating.

3. I've not be alone.

As a family we have found a new way of being. It's not that there haven't been arguments and tears, but that's we've come through them quickly and held together as a unit.

As a church we've not be alone, even when we couldn't meet we found ways of using online and telephone to stay together, share together, pray together and grow together.

As a community we have got closer together, with groups popping up to support each other and lots of sharing and caring.

As a community of shielders we've also formed bonds of understanding and support, especially when the world went back to normal and we stayed home.

As creatives we've dreamed together and shared together and met together online in new and exciting ways to overcome geography.

And of course God has been there, as reliable as ever, in the midst of it all; loving and sustaining.

I have never felt alone, even on the hardest days and I can't say I would have believed that to have been possible in mid March when we went into Lockdown.

So as we are allowed to leave home and mix with the world I actually find myself uncertain whether I want to go back to how things were.  I don't want to lose the closer family connections or the online connections, I don't want to start rushing around and miss the funny purple flowers or the new birdsong; and I don't want to stop being creative because it's been a revelation.

What has your lockdown been like? What are you going to keep as you move back into the world?