Since before I was a teenager I have suffered with depression; this has taken the form of an eating disorder, physical sickness and the well known blackness of depression itself.
At times I've been able to cope by keeping my "mask" well applied; at other times it's been impossible to hide my internal torture; and as the years have gone past I have been more reluctant to hide behind my mask.
I've spent a substantial proportion of my life working on getting well; through anti depressants, diets, self help groups and counselling. All has helped to some extent, but it has been faith, prayer, love and self acceptance that has made the changes I feel today.
It's been so much longer a journey than I hoped, but I've come to realise that the speed has been right for me; I couldn't gave coped with it any different. God had me safe all the time, He was walking alongside me every step.
Don't get me wrong, I know that ups and downs will remain, but I also know that I am recovering; from myself, from my situations and from my past. Slowly and steadily I am healing; the tortoise always wins the race. I'm glad I'm at least in the race.
For more on my journey and healing through this year you might like to read healing at the foot of the cross