Monday, 19 December 2011

The ministry fruit cake

Ingredients:
1 unsuspecting person
1 tablespoon of idea
1 teaspoon of vocations advisors
1 teaspoon of spiritual directors
1 teaspoon of friends
1 teaspoon of family
1 Cup of Disbelief - melted
1 Cup of Doubt - preferably runny
1 Gallon of Prayer
1 Cup of formation
2 drops of affirmation
1 drop of licensing
morning prayers
services
festivals
retreats
school assemblies
home visits
charity trustee meetings
church council meetings
ministerial meetings
training courses
supervisions
support groups
spiritual director visits
weekend away with spouse
family holidays
 
Method:
1. Take 1 unsuspecting person.
2. Add 1 heaped tablespoon of idea.
3. Sift together the vocations advisors, spiritual directors and church friends and add to the other dry ingredients.
4. In a separate bowl mix the melted disbelief with the doubt.
5. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and mix in carefully. Don't over work the mixture at this stage or the result might not be achieved.
6. In a separate bowl beat the prayer for at least 1 year; ensure that all lumps are removed and that it becomes light and fluffy with peaks.
7. Take one spoonful of the fluffy prayer and stir into the mix well; then fold in the rest of the fluffy prayer ensuring none is abandoned.
8. Spoon the mixture into a pre prepared tin (preferably one with experience) and level off with a few hard taps.
9. Put the tin into the oven for 3 years, gas mark 17, checking occasionally for progress.
10. Turn the cooked cake onto a cooling rack for a month to ensure it's settled and ready for filling. Then cut in half.

The filling:
1. Mix the formation, affirmation and licensing together well
2. If the filling becomes too stiff then add more affirmation
3. If the filling is too runny then add more formation
4. Spread the filling on one half of the cake before sandwiching with the other half.

The topping:
1. Get hold of a very large bowl and get ready to mix the remaining ingredients together quickly
2. Add into the bowl 12 festivals, 40 services, 12 school assemblies, 24 home visits, 18 charity trustee meetings, 6 church council meetings and 10 ministerial meetings. 
3. Balance this out with 8 supervisions, 3 support groups, 7 spiritual director visits, 1 weekend away with spouse, 2 family holidays, several hundred prayers and 3 retreats
4. Review the balance regularly through the mixing process to ensure a smooth and easy mixture; if the topping clogs up then add in additional family time and retreats
5. Spread the topping over the cake, smoothing out gently.
 
Serving suggestion:
This ministry fruit cake is best served with a cup of tea and with friends. 

 
Warning!
Although this cake appears to last forever, it keeps better if given regular periods of rest in a darkened cupboard.

1 comment:

ramtops said...

I love this. Very inventive. Thanks Em, and Happy Christmas!