End of a counselling era

This is the second post of a three part series entitled "healing, counselling and guidance".


This series discusses the changes in my emotional and spiritual support over the last few months. Today we focus on the counselling element. End of a counselling era.



After my Easter experience I went to counselling a few weeks later with a weight lifted. On the way to the session my mind was thinking back 7 years to how I had felt and been when I first walked into my counsellor's room.

I had known I needed to be there, after all it had been me that had researched and found her. But I was wearing my protective mask, the one that I needed just to function; the one that hid the fearful child inside me and projected a professional successful woman.

It took well over a year for me to loose the mask in therapy, and at least another two years for me to destroy the mask altogether. In that time I worked on my worth, my acceptance of myself, my own faults and strengths and generally worked through my emotional life from toddlerhood to adulthood. If that sounds easy, it wasn't; but it was worthwhile.

Seven years later I have self examined, learned, cried, laughed, despaired, almost given up, driven through, grown, accepted and forgiven myself. It has been hard work and worth every single bit of it. Without this work I don't believe I could have got to the point I was at Easter. I did the hard work I needed to, I could then truly ask for the healing I needed from God.

This was how I went into my counselling after Easter. I was a different person and my counsellor saw that. She saw the change in me; she saw that final corner turned; she saw that it was time to say STOP!

STOP Emma, you don't need to keep coming to counselling.
STOP Emma, it's time to go it alone now.
STOP Emma, STOP relying on therapy.

There were tears and reminiscences and fear, but it was OK. We worked through those in our last ever 10 minutes together. This was the end of an era and we both knew it.