My ministry: fancy dress and all
An email has come through "your cassock and surplice have been despatched."
You might think I'd feel excited or ready or perhaps slightly apprehensive. But no; instead I've gone all nerves, dread and worry.
What for, it's just some fancy dress. And I don't say that in a disrespectful way, the blue readers scarf is the sign of the licensing of my ministry, that comes in November; this anyone can wear without any special permission. But really, I don't know if I'll wear it at family services, can't imagine wearing it outside church except for funerals, so that just leaves the main service a couple of times a month when I'm up front.
Of course I am properly worried that between Mike and I and my very squat/round/curvy build it won't fit - it's the second most expensive item if clothing I've ever had after my wedding dress! But that's not the real issue, let's get real.
The real nerves and dread are that this makes it all VERY real! I won't be able to just be me up front, I'll by a lay minister. By the end of this year I'll be licensed. I know that my day to day ministry won't change, but I'm sure the coming months and the licensing itself are going to have a profound effect on me, and that unknown is scary.
So today my prayer is "lord, lead me clearly, hold me tightly, love me kindly, amen."