You'll have no doubt noticed that since Licensing I've been quiet on the "sharing" front, there's been some blogging but none of it reflective or particularly personal. Well it's not been because I've got nothing to say, it's because I've got so much to say that can't be put into words.
Yesterday the PCC went away for a day and I found myself completely overwhelmed when we were talking about the values of our church. I could barely think or speak, instead there were tears a-plenty. This has been happening a lot over the last three weeks; I've been overwhelmed with emotions and been reduced to tears many times. It's like the flood gates were opened at licensing. And indeed it is that flood gates were opened, but not to let stuff out of me! They were opened inwards to let the Holy Spirit flow more than ever before. I've even had prayer times where I'm pretty sure I'm speaking in tongues, a very new experience. It's amazing and massive and scary all at the same time.
Since I couldn't really write about it I decided to try and pray it out and this is what came.
It's a representation of the journey to date and the emotions I've felt. Starting from the beginning allowed me to enter the emotions and continue with them to now. I'm sure it doesn't make much sense to anyone but me, but it's been a hugely helpful exercise and allowed me to better understand the tears and feelings of being in very deep.
"You'll be changed at licensing."
They weren't kidding; and so much more than I expected.