I know I've mentioned before, but it's definitely worthing saying again. Vicar Neil (previously NVN) is the most amazing support and I am blessed to be able to learn from him.
This week I've been struggling with the lectionary gospel of John 14 (see this post John 14:1-14 on first sight). I was scared by the prospect of preaching on it, because of the wealth of information and doctrinal complexities. I prayed and shared and the fear subsided. I shared some more and prayed some more and God gave me the subject to preach on. But not in it's entirety. Fear remained.
Then last night was my ministry support group. I was able to share how busy my diary is at the moment and get tips on how to manage that and prioritise commitments. I shared how my calling is strong and my becoming clearer all the time and how with that my confidence is growing. I really explained the work I do for the miscarriage association and the amount of time that takes, which I don't think they really had known before. We talked about how my ministerial working agreement needs to include this and all other roles I have in charities in the community. They heard, they advised, they prayed.
Neil especially sat next to me supporting me in where God is taking me. He is the spiritual support alongside Mike who is my life and family support. How did he show this? Most specifically by taking the preach off me this week, having already been given inspiration himself. This is not something he has ever done before, and not something I expect to happen again; but this week he knew it was the right thing to do, and the relief I felt was amazing.
This to me is true supervision. He often puts me in situations which I find uncomfortable and he nurtures me through it. He always allows me to fly but is down on the ground ready when I land. But when he can see I need help, he provides it; without judgement, with support.
I will write my reflections on the Gospel, it might even become a sermon which is never preached. I need to work through the issues that it's brought up in me, and I will. And I can, because I am supported.
This is true supervision; thank you Lord for providing me with it.