This blog is called LLM Calling.
I started it when I first acknowledged that perhaps I was having a calling to a lay ministerial vocation.
Anyone who has read through from the start has seen the process of discernment, preparation, selection, acceptance, training, formation and the start of ministry. They've seen the ups and downs, the excitement and fears, the uncertainties and glimses of confidence.
I know, as I read some of my older posts, how much I've changed in this time; in fact I'm thankful to my blogging for allowing me to see that change. It has been a mere three years and yet I couldn't feel more different about life, the universe and everything than I did at the start.
And now comes the next step;
the supposedly exciting step;
the part everyone in training aims for;
the event which has me a nervous wreck;
We had our first pre-licensing meeting last night and it has me freaked out.
I'm going to be licensed; it's really going to happen; in front of probably 1000 people and maybe more.
I've been told that I will be changed that day; that's something awe-inspiring and unknown for me to ponder. But perhaps worse still is the worry that nothing will happen. I think I'm ready to be committed.
I know that it's good to have all these nerves now, with over a month to go; I can hope to deal with them and feel more ready on the day. I just am shocked by the intense reaction I have to this awesome experience that is coming up.
I honestly hadn't thought much about the actual licensing before now; it's really happening.