Saturday, 29 October 2011

Resting at the cross

I am so full of emotional and spiritual fear at the moment.  As licensing approaches it increases and I find it almost impossible to explain.  

There's the fear of the service with all the people watching, it triggers feelings of being not good enough.

There's the fear of the culmination of training, how can I actually feel trained enough or ready enough?

There's the fear of "you will be changed" and whether I will and what that'll be, or I won't and then what!

There's the fear of the start of the ministry God wants me to undertake and where that'll lead.

It's been all consuming and completely overwhelming all week; but today I saw this necklace at a Halloween event (what a strange place to find this).

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

Wearing it around my wrist is comforting; it's reminding me that I'm not meant to be perfect, I'm called as me.  

I'm resting at the cross; in my fear and unknowing, praying for strength and calm.

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