Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Today's the day #NaPoWriMoDayTwentyFour

Today's the day
I'm on my way
To meet
To greet
My baby

Today's the day
I get to say
Hello there
Smile and wave
To the screen

Today's the day
I'm lithe and gay
I skip
I sing
I shout out "hey"

And
Then .....
Nothing

Today's the day
My heart breaks

Today's the day
My tears fall

Today's the day
I say goodbye

There
Was
Something

Today's the day
I'm on my way
To say goodbye
To sigh
Look after my baby

Today's the day
I just stay
Quiet
Alone
Missing my baby

Today's the day
I pray and pray
For peace
For love
For my baby

Xxxxxx

Susan at Real toads asked us to write a hello and goodbye poem today.  This is what came immediately to mind. 

It's weird how many more poems about my babies have arrived since the publishing of my book of poetry on the subject, but then for me the grief will never really be finished.

For the first time I've felt brave enough to record myself reading the poem, somehow this needed to be captured,I hope it's ok.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/WiD3OWedsng

10 comments:

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is very moving, Emma, especially to hear your reading of the poem. There are some tragedies which are beyond all recovery, just a healing over.

Susan said...

I am so happy I listened to this too and heard your inflections. It is an amazing performance piece for you, for us. I do not know your story, but this made me feel the hope of delivery (including the ultra sound) and then the silence of an abrupt ending. Last year I stayed by a friend who had both a miscarriage and a 5-month still birth. SHe is still grieving, and so I am thinking of her and how your poem helps me understand her more. It's never really over. But prayer does put some sound into that void. A fine and powerful poem. Thank you.

Marian said...

WOW it is VERY affecting hearing you read this. thank you so much for sharing your voice with us!
now i want to hear you read all your poems :)
i'm sorry for your loss.
is it really your blog birthday as well? happy happy for that!

aprille said...

That surely is one of the saddest goodby's.
Hard to judge it objectively as a poem, as the sentiment overwhelms it. Hope you are okay after doing this today.

Loredana Donovan said...

Moving, especially hearing you read it. I'm sorry for your loss.

Helen said...

Dear Emma,
You have written of a pain so deep, it is almost unbearable to read. How brave of you to share this.

I would love to hear you read all of your poems ... you have a beautiful voice and pleasing presentation.

Mary said...

Very touching and moving, Emma. This would be a good-bye that would be so very difficult, especially since you really never had a chance to say hello....

Margaret said...

It skips along and slowly comes to a stop. It is ripe with feeling without hearing it. I listened, and was quite moved.

Kay L. Davies said...

Emma, I couldn't bring myself to listen to you read this, knowing how much I would cry.
When I was nine, I had a baby sister who lived for only four days. The impact of her death shaped my young mind, affected my young heart, and the way I looked at life, for many years.
The death of an infant affects many members of a family, it seems. The mother first, then the father, then perhaps the eldest child who wants to help care for the new child, or perhaps the youngest child, who was looking forward to having someone to play with.
What of the oldest grandmother, the youngest aunt? No one knows how far-reaching the death of one wanted baby can be.
It will always be a sad loss, full of grief and pain.
Luv, K

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Emma, I've shared the same grief, as did my mother. Ironically, I wrote on the exact same subject today. We write in different styles, but the subject is so poignant and filled with emotion, any way you look at it, heartbreak and loss are real. Thanks for your courage. Love, Amy