Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Croc met snake #NaPoWriMoDayNine

A croc met a snake
As it crawled out of the swamp
Said the croc to the snake
I can eat you in one lump
Said the snake to the croc
I can bite you on the bum
So they sat about to sort it out
With a fight under the sun
The snake bit the croc
Which made it squeal in pain
The snake started to laugh
And arched to do it again
As the croc closed its mouth
It realised with some glee
That the snake was now positioned
Between its teeth perfectly


This poem is inspired by the image provided by Mama Zen at real toads.  It wrote itself quicker than I could type.  The one problem is that the challenge was to write in under 60 words so here's the shortened version to match these strict criteria.  Which do you prefer?

Croc met snake
As it crawled out of swamp
Said croc to snake
I'll eat you in one lump
Said snake to croc
I'll bite you on the bum
Snake bit croc
Who squealed in pain
Snake now laughed
Before doing it again
Croc closed mouth
Realising with glee
That snake was now
Between teeth perfectly

Also linked up at wot so funee?


Helen said...

Version two is my fave! Very cute!

Actually Mummy... said...

Oooh you're doing NaNoWriMo very brave!

Kim Nelson said...

I like the first one. Thanks for the giggle, Emma!

Kay L. Davies said...

I agree with Helen (and so, of course, with Mama Zen) that the second is the best. It moves quickly, like a snake or a crocodile, thus has more 'bite' than version one.
But don't you just love poems that write themselves? Labor-saving devices for poets!

Mama Zen said...

This is so fun! I love it!

Margaret said...

Do you think making "realizing" "realized" would make it flow better? Very cute and I like #2.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I liked the second one, it reads like a wonderful poem for children.