I am the world's worst at comparing myself to others; of worrying how I fall short and wondering whether I'll ever match up. It's always been a problem, something I've done to myself since a child; and it has never done me any favours. Perhaps some people compare themselves and find themselves exceeding, but I am not that person; I compare myself and always find myself lacking.
I'm not trying hard enough
I don't have good enough ideas
I'm not clever enough
I drop the ball too often
I make too many mistakes
You name it, I'll find myself lacking.
So why do I keep comparing myself?
What am I trying to learn?
All I have learned over the years is that when I compare myself to someone else, I devalue myself.
The children I met in Zambia didn't do the comparison thing. They weren't seeing what the kid next to them got on their homework; they weren't in competition. They were encouraging each other and helping each other and working onwards and upwards as a group. They have taught me about accepting yourself and making the most of what you are.
Inspired by them I have made a decision to stop comparing myself.
From now on I'm going to accept myself as I am and as I am called by God; knowing that I'm imperfect but that I am called for being me.