Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Missing out on Mothering

Rachel loves school, adores school, runs into school without a backward glance; it's fantastic. She hero worships her teacher and works hard for her. She comes home full of what she's done and learned and achieved and tried.

I know I'm a lucky mum in the scheme of things. I don't have to fight my child to go to school or do their reading. I don't have to get a crowbar out to find out even one smidgen of the days events, I hear it in its every detail. I don't need to fear the report or parents evening.

But I can't help feeling like school has taken away over half of the time I get to parent Rachel. Well it does, she's there for more than half of her waking hours five days a week; and they're the best hours of the day. I feel like I'm missing out on so much of her joy and that makes me sad.

For instance, yesterday she came home with this dancing star certificate

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

I am really proud of her and she is thrilled to have received it. But I've never seen the dance (she says she can't do it without her group) and there's no show for us to see. This is something I'd love to have seen and been able to celebrate with her.

It's moments like this when I contemplate home-schooling again, but it's not the right decision for us, it'd be a selfish decision on my part. Instead I'll just make the most of all the time I do have with Rachel, which is more than most mums who have to work full time.

Can you guess how bad I'm going to be when my nest is empty?


Rosy Cole said...

Emma, thanks for sharing this.

That Rachel is so confident and capable clearly shows what a great job of mothering you're doing. Being a parent these days has never been so tough. But you have much to thank God for - though I think you know this :)

Our children are really only on loan to us. Support, protection and interaction are necessary and desirable, but they are on their pilgrimage and we on ours.

If you can let her go a little, both your horizons will expand and you'll embrace new truths you can share. She'll 'home in' when she needs extra affirmation.

It was only when Jesus departed at the Ascension that the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, was fully enabled.

God bless you and Rachel,

Rosy Cole (@pilgrimrose)

Emma Major said...

Thanks Rosy, I know you're right, it's good to be reminded of what it means to be a mother xxx