Pewalosi
Land of ideals
Saturated in calm
Laced with genteel
Woods of peace
Savannah of silence
Lakes of warmth
Deserts of love
Caves of longing
Cliffs of quiet
Streams of wishes
Dunes of kisses
Everything dark
Banished away
Leaving Pewalosi
Peaceful each day
But just outside
From Noshcrea
The noise invades
Screams and shouts
The dark has grouped
Together in force
Pewalosi may be perfect
But Noshcrea is worse
Xxxxxx
Linked up at World building at real toads. I set out to write a poem about my perfect land but quickly realised there'd be a shadow side needed elsewhere. This might become a work in progress.
22 comments:
You created an intriguing setting for a clash between opposing forces of good and evil.
This is very intriguing. Even in our minds, when we imagine perfection, we know there will be a darker side somewhere. The human conundrum.
. . . perfect and worse? an amazing last line. I think I'd like mine half and half, please!
I think I would just like to relax in Pelwalosi for awhile, the neighbors sound just a little to rowdy. Enjoyed your poem a peaceful world we should all share.
That last line is an ideal sudden stop. Perfect. What is it, really?
Excellent Emma. Lovely imagery in the description as well as worldbuilding!
I was enjoying the serene perfect world... but I am sure you are right - a shadow balances it out.
Seems we cannot even create a perfect world in our minds when we are so imperfect ourselves. Such an intriguing write...I think it should become a much longer piece. Looking forward to reading it!
I am intrigued with the names of your otherworldly places ... very sci-fi.
Sad but true that perfection requires a dark side, just as day requires night.
Excellent, Emma.
K
now I read it back I see what you mean
sad but true, even if that darker side is our own worry
I think I'll go 80:20 :)
wouldn't it be lovely, just for a little while every now and then
I don't know, it's complete fiction with imagery of the Lord of the rings for the dark side and a heaven ideal for the good. this is all I have for now
thanks Peggy
surely does, to some extent at least
I'm not sure I'm brave enough Susie, but I'll leave it around to see if it wants to be developed
they're anagrams basically, can you figure out what - it's all in the poem
does it require? or is it about human failings? debate :)
I like this: "The dark has grouped
Together in force"
Great poem. Dark and light. It would do for me!
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